In family law, I hear a lot of the same worries and assumptions from clients. Divorce is an emotional time, and it is easy to fall into beliefs shaped by TV shows, social media, or stories from friends.
But holding onto the wrong ideas can make an already hard process even harder.
Here are three of the most common myths I hear about divorce and the truths I wish more people knew.
Myth 1: Moms Always Get Custody
Many people assume courts automatically favor mothers when it comes to custody. The truth is, courts focus on what’s best for the child, not the gender of the parent.
Nebraska law, like the laws in many states, looks at several factors when making custody decisions, including each parent’s involvement, the child’s needs, and the ability to co-parent effectively.
In most cases, both parents are encouraged to play active roles in their child’s life. That might look like joint custody, shared parenting time, or other arrangements based on the family’s unique situation.
Myth 2: Divorce Is About Winning
I often meet clients who come in ready to “win” the divorce, thinking of it as a fight to be won or lost. But divorce is not a contest.
The goal is not to defeat the other person, but to reach fair agreements on issues like parenting, finances, and property. Focusing only on winning often leads to more conflict, more expense, and more stress, especially for any children involved.
The most successful outcomes are usually the ones where both people can move forward with dignity and stability, not the ones where one side “beats” the other.
Myth 3: You Always Have to Go to Court
Many people believe divorce always ends up in a courtroom battle. The reality is, most cases are resolved outside of court through negotiation, mediation, or settlement discussions.
While some cases do require a judge’s decision, especially when agreements can’t be reached, many families are able to work out arrangements with the help of their attorneys, avoiding the time and cost of a trial.
Court is sometimes necessary, but it’s not always the best or only path.
Why Knowing the Truth Helps You Move Forward
Divorce is hard enough without the added weight of myths and misunderstandings.
When you understand how the process really works, you can approach it with more clarity, less fear, and a better sense of what’s possible. And that’s a much stronger place to start from, both legally and emotionally.
